a half pill

my sleeping pill bottle is filled with halves. it’s like i’m almost afraid to take a whole one. always breaking them in halves, swallowing a small piece with a content smile on my face. i figured it’s a way to bury the guilt. the commitment. because taking a whole pill is just too real. too certain. a half wont hurt. a half doesn’t mean anything … it’s just a half.

i’ve always been a discreet person. showing you parts of me and concealing the others. too much of a coward to reveal myself completely and not allowing myself to break free. i see everything around me the way i see myself. i am that half pill in the bottle. tucked away afraid to be taken as a whole. 

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