I haven’t written anything in a while but i’m constantly overwhelmed by the ignorance of the world and continuously disinterested in things i used to have a heavy interest in and influenced me to be myself. i get so absorbed in somethings but it gradually falls. It’s almost like sand, the tighter you grab it in your palms the more it pours out. Maybe it’s just today. But maybe feeling neutral about a lot of things is better than attaching them with feelings you may not be able to forget.
Another thing is I’m just extremely uncomfortable by my surroundings. As much as i try to get a way i can’t. I feel as though i’m suffocating at times. People say get rid of toxic people but what do you do when the whole world is toxic. Count me in the next flight to mars? is that how i should solve this.
i’m too comfortable being with myself that sitting around others is exhausting to me, between friendly smiles and forcing conversations the process just sucks the life out of me. i hate that being successful in life means to have a circle of socialites that enjoy being ungenuine. while i certainly don’t have an issue with outgoing people. i can’t do it on the daily. i like being myself in the least not depressing way i’m actually completely content and happy with being by myself.